The Problem with Moderation

So, you've finally realised your tendency to go a teeny bit over the top and binge drink at the weekends.
Nothing new there. You just need to learn to reign it back in. Don't drink as much.

Right?

Wrong.
My reasons for drinking in the past can by crystallised into one statement.

I drink when I feel uncomfortable.


The setting may change. I may be at home alone, watching the TV and open a beer. I may be out with old friends I haven't seen in a long time. I may be at a wedding where I know virtually no-one.

Each setting carries with it varying levels of discomfort. Take the above cases.
If it was a midweek evening, and I was stressed from work, I'd have a beer which would help to temporarily anaesthetise me. Help take me away from my problems at the office for a little while. Nothing wrong with that you might say, except for the fact, the work issues are still there unresolved, patiently biding their time until you return to being fully conscious. Nothing but escapism.

Being with friends in a social setting, brings peer pressure to drink. No one wants to be perceived as a party pooper, ostracised from the group. You want to feel connected, as part of the team. The act of sitting down with friends and just connecting, seems difficult to fathom for some, if there is no end goal in sight. A football team can still have craic before and during a match. Change the environment, plugging the same group into a pub, and alcohol is a pre-requisite. Hmmm.

In social situations outside your comfort zone, there is a huge incentive to drink. Drinking helps to drown out your conscious critical voice, desensitizing your discomfort thereby freeing you to act the maggot. You can always blame it on the booze the day after.

--

My friends have told me that I'm going a little bit too hard-core in giving up alcohol. Instead. they want me to drink in 'moderation', whatever that means. If I could drink in moderation, I wouldn't have had such an eventful backlog of excruciatingly embarrassing stories to tell.

The problem with moderation is that even with a couple of drinks I'm 'not me'. How can I actively improve my social and conversation skills if I'm starting from a false base? Where's the learning lesson in that?

Instead, I'm going into the next few weeks, eyes wide open. My mission, to improve my social skills, embrace discomfort but rather than let it paralyse me, I hope to gather the strength to break free from the bonds that have prevented action. To use real confidence, and not the bottled variety.

I heard a term recently...social skydiving. It's a phrase designed to illustrate the act of 'just going for it' and speaking to strangers in bars sober. I can't imagine a lot of people being comfortable doing that, but I think it would be an incredible skill to learn, and something I intend to practice over the coming few weeks. The thought of it is making me a little nervous, though. I guess if it was easy, then alcohol wouldn't be as popular as it is now!