Thursday, February 10, 2011

Suffering Social Life!

Seems like a lot of drinkers don't appreciate a sober person's company.

I can relate to that; especially when my younger sister suddenly became old enough to accompany me to clubs. I hated having someone there who wouldn't be drinking, because I knew it would kill my buzz. I'd have to be careful in what I said and did because most likely, I'd hear about it the next day. Of course, this was rarely the case, but it still didn't help alleviate my concerns.

The criticism was probably unwarranted, but I was being selfish at the time, and anyone not 'in synch' with my getting drunk, disrupted the equilibrium. Perhaps this is why I'm still being pressured by friends. With me being out of my comfort zone on current nights out, they are also by definition, outside their comfort zone. The only way to correct course, is influence that stray element (me) back into the fold!

Or maybe it's because I've become boring; a sober mind unable to break free of its rational chain of thought. Gone are the days of making such a silly show of myself, that I made others look good! It's very difficult to be sober, and not be serious or critical. The last thing I want to be is Mr Responsible on a night out, but with practice it will become easier to integrate into groups of varying sobriety.

Part of me prefers to be in the company of people who drink. It will be entertaining, and full of incident. Things...happen! It's never dull. Especially not with my circle of friends. But part of me sees them becoming so wasted that they become liabilities, utterly boring and without any coherence.

Would I rather be sober in a group of like minded sober people? Or with drunken people?
I lean toward the more sober group, but a fine balance would be ideal. Maybe that says something about my own pursuit to eliminate alcohol in my life. Perhaps a fine line would be more suitable and realistic longer term. For now though, I still hope to build some courage so that alcohol isn't a prerequisite for a good night out.

I just need to integrate myself back into society!

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